Doctors completing the paperwork on deceased patient Peter Blakely agreed yesterday that the 56-year-old cancer sufferer got a proper arse-kicking and no mistake. Although official documents show that in the end it was a walkover for the lymphoma, supporting notes reveal that Mr Blakely was outclassed right from the off.
‘There was no battle whatsoever,’ chuckled trainee doctor Jack Neale. ‘He was made to look like a real amateur. Some you win, some you lose, but this guy just didn’t turn up.’
‘Mr Blakely’s relatives told us he’d come through a difficult divorce and unemployment, but the history books won’t remember that,’ smirked Dr Luke Styles. ‘Played one, lost one – that’s the bottom line. And Jeez,’ he added, shaking his head and exchanging a high-five with his colleague, ‘did this guy lose or what? Youch!’