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Government bans jogging due to ‘natural highs’ from endorphins

Just say no

The government yesterday unveiled proposals to classify jogging as a Class C drug following widespread concern about the ‘natural highs’ produced by strenuous exercise.  ‘The harms associated with this addictive pastime include exhaustion, grazed knees and sprained ankles,’ Home Office Minister David Hanson told Parliament yesterday.  ‘We need to go the extra mile and ban this dangerous hobby now.’

Although the Government has been reluctant to disclose scientific advice on the effects of jogging, anti-jogger groups insist the authorities need to get a grip.

‘People assume that because it’s legal, it’s safe,’ said campaigner Paul Crowhurst today from his armchair.  ‘Everyone knows the risks from uneven paving stones and overhanging branches, but what about ‘jogger’s nipple’?  How many more people need to suffer prolonged exposure to lycra and develop Vaseline dependence before this Government acts?’

By fun and games

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2010 by games

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