The news that singer Ricky Martin has came out as gay has had a major impact on celebrities, with Julian Clary immediately following suit and the organisation ‘Out’ reporting a meltdown in its phone lines. Many of those outing themselves are widely suspected of being straight.
‘The ‘Martin effect’ has been enormous”, said a spokesman for the British government. ‘We are setting up a new organisation called ‘In,’ encouraging people to get back into the closet while we deal with genuine cases.’
One celebrity-homosexual-Scientologist, who refused to be named said: ‘First, I’m out and then I am forced back in. I just want to make my business other people’s business and then tell them to mind their own business.’
John Barrowman was unvailable for comment, because someone had put duct tape over his mouth.