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God ends sponsorship deal with Catholic Church

In a fresh blow to the Catholic Church’s fortunes, God has today announced He is to end the lucrative sponsorship deal that has been the organisation’s financial mainstay for nearly 2000 years.

God has been a generous and reliable sponsor of many of the world’s major religions, principally through a loyalty scheme offering free places in heaven to those who support the church, although there have been reports of a hidden ‘eternal damnation’ clause for those who don’t keep up their payments.

God was not available for comment yesterday, but he did hand down a message on tablets of stone stating that he ‘wished the Catholic church every success in its new ventures’, although he suggested that ‘less hypocrisy, mind-control and blatant materialism’ would probably be a good tactic for its next venture.

ED209

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2010 by NewsBiscuit

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