‘All the candidates are so very nice’ says voter

An Isle of Wight voter says that she is delighted by the quality of her prospective parliamentary candidates. ‘They all seem very nice’, said Mrs Deirdre Worth of Ventnor.  ‘I met all three main party candidates while I was out shopping and each one gave me some really interesting reading material.  They all listened politely to what I had to say and they were genuinely interested in all my opinions – even the ill-considered ones.’

Mrs Worth has now been forced to completely reconsider her voting strategy.  ‘I used to vote for whoever had the nicest smile,’ she said, ‘but they all have such lovely smiles.  Each candidate was very well turned out with nice white teeth, well combed hair and pretty coloured rosettes. How can I possibly chose between them?’

‘Even their policies were nice,’  she continued,  ‘they all advocate fairness, justice and a brighter tomorrow.  I am so completely torn. They were all so lovely and and I really don’t want to offend any of them.  I suppose I shall just have to vote for the BNP instead.’


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Posted: Apr 19th, 2010 by

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