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Archive for April, 2010

Retailers slammed for selling ‘pervy’ school uniforms

David Cameron and Mumsnet joined forces today to criticise leading high street retailers for stocking fetish-like school uniforms aimed at girls as young as four.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2010
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Tories caught offside by Labour pledge to win 2010 World Cup

David Cameron was caught off guard at the political leaders’ debate last night as the Labour Party pledged that England would win the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

Speaking after the historic debate to Alistair Stewart, Ed Miliband, architect of the party’s manifesto, confirmed their ‘firm intention to win the World Cup for the first time since 1966’. Under intense cross examination, Miliband said the pledge had been fully costed and Alistair Darling had approved the promise provided that Scotland win the trophy in 2014. He also revealed Labour’s intention of phasing in the 2012 European Championships for Wales at the personal request of Welsh assembly first minister Carwyn Jones.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2010
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Scientists baffled by ‘glowing thing in the sky’

The unidentified object first appeared over the weekend causing hysteria, as well as a surge in sales of frappuccinos and newspapers, although the Independent’s circulation remained largely unaffected.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2010
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Clegg delighted with third place in Nick Clegg look-alike contest

The Liberal Democrats were celebrating last night after leader Nick Clegg beat off strong opposition to come third in a ‘Nick Clegg Look-Alike’ competition.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2010
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Middle-aged men finding it difficult to keep up Radiohead enthusiasm

The vast majority of men over thirty are finding it hard to stay excited at the prospect of a new Radiohead album, according to a new poll by Ipsos Mori.

In the key 30-42 year old demographic, male respondents have shown that their likelihood of ‘getting down to the local Our Price to be one of the first to listen to the new Radiohead album’ has fallen from 97% to just under 18% since 1997.

Tim Falconer, a 37 year old father of two, said: ‘I hate to admit it, but the prospect of 50 minutes alone with Thom Yorke’s voice and Jonny Greenwood’s guitars actually doesn’t excite me any more. When you’ve been out at the park all day, had a takeaway Jalfrezi and then settled down to watch Wallander, I find it really difficult to convince myself that an album of gurgling noises is a good idea, let alone convincing Mrs F!’

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2010
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