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‘I only say my arse is too big to make real porkers feel bad,’ admits skinny woman

'Don't let my fat arse put you off that doughnut'

Dawn Franklin, a 34-year-old size 8 from Bristol, admitted yesterday that her references to insecurity about the size of her bum were ‘less about womanly solidarity, and more about reminding my friends that there’s such a thing as self-control – or at the very least Weightwatchers.’

The skinny cow also confessed to using the expression ‘I wish I had your curves’ as a passive-aggressive term of abuse, and revealed that when she says the media promotes unrealistic images of women, she means unrealistic for most of her acquaintances, ‘many of whom would benefit from puking up the occasional gravy-drenched dinner or two.’

In defending her actions, Franklin stressed that she rarely mentions her small and neat behind in mixed company, and when in front of the opposite sex only ever complains about being miserably flat-chested. She then threw back her shoulders, setting her 36C breasts gently jiggling, before moaning to girlfriends that blokes never look you in the eye.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2010 by DrTurmoil

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