As the leaders of the UK’s three main parties head into a second day of political horse trading and bickering in an attempt to form a viable Government, the UK electorate have shown themselves to be ‘Very satisfied’ with having no effective government.
‘It’s really going very well, a great change for the better’ said works manager Dave Gubbins. ‘We haven’t had a pointless but expensive government directive or law for weeks now. Productivity is up since we have been able to get down to making things instead of holding training courses on how to use a ladder.’
Schools and other educational establishments are also reporting increases in time spent teaching pupils. ‘The goalposts haven’t moved for weeks now,’ said head teacher John Mayes. ‘If this deadlock can carry on then we will be able to have all pupils reading Dostoevsky’s ‘Crime and Punishment’ by year 4.’
In the NHS, Surgeon William Hudson has reported that ‘We have been able to stick two fingers up to the bean counters and middle management, since most of them won’t be there this time next year. Instead of spending our time in meetings addressing stakeholder buy in and the customer experience, we have been doing operations and making people better. I expect to clear my list in the next couple of months. It’s a revolutionary approach. I’d never have believed it could work if I hadn’t seen it for myself but I’m finally doing what I trained all these years for’.
Senior politicians are said to be ‘uneasy’ with this new mood in the country. ‘Who knows where this could lead?’ said one high ranking politician. ‘If this stalemate continues for much longer then people may begin to believe that they can run their own lives!’
Posted in memory of Quaz, a long-time and much-loved contributor to this site, who has tragically died, aged 43. He will be sadly missed.
See also: Quaz