Aaron Amis, 23, will be sleeping on a friend’s floor tonight after a misunderstanding with his girlfriend over a movie rental.
‘Cassie said she hadn’t watched a good 5-tissue movie for ages, so I was off to Blockbuster like Usain Bolt,’ said Aaron. Sadly his choice of ‘Jism-Drinking Chingford Vixens’ wasn’t quite the type of tear-jerker she’d had in mind.
Aaron said he had first achieved five tissues in his early teens with an old video of Barbarella, starring the young Jane Fonda in a series of revealing costumes, before moving onto stronger stuff – such as kitchen roll. ‘She said not to get anything with animals in it,’ he explained, ‘so I thought some regular guy-girl action would be fine.’
Having seen the error of his ways, Aaron tried to patch things up with Cassie a few nights ago, but his promise of an all-nighter with swing-o-meters and a remark about a three-way tussle only earned him another slap in the face.