BP appeals for ‘more birds and mammals’ to help soak up Gulf oil spill

Soft, downy and ultra-absorbent

Oil giant BP has launched an urgent appeal for ‘more birds and small mammals’ to help soak up the massive oil leak afflicting the Gulf of Mexico.

After earlier methods of stopping the leak using engineering methods proved unsuccessful, BP has been forced to resort to the traditional method of using seals, penguins, pelicans and other aquatic animals to mop up the oil from the surface of the ocean using their ultra-absorbent fur or feathers.

‘We understand that the public are concerned about the oil washing ashore,’ said a BP spokesman. ‘But if we can just get enough fluffy or furry animals, we’ll be able to soak up most of it and wring it out into bottles, see? And people said this was going to be some kind of disaster.’


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Posted: May 13th, 2010 by

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