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Tabloid offers readers chance to ‘Win a Year of unsolicited junk mail’

By simply clicking on a link, and entering their name and address, tabloid newspaper readers could win themselves a whole year’s worth of unsolicited junk mail, spam and teatime-spoiling phone-call interruptions.

The offer has been made as the newspaper concerned celebrates the installation of its new customer relationship management (CRM) system. CRM, or ‘customer stalking software’, enables a company to bombard members of the public with multiple phone calls, emails, junk mail and disappointing packages in the post; all for the vague hope of a holiday, or free membership of a gym, that they’re never going to get.

‘We’re been listening to our readers and what they have said is this: “Please consume the world’s precious energy resources in order to pester us into submission,”‘ said corporate social responsibility officer Mandy Knightbridge. ‘We’re happy to take money off people. If we can’t, the least we can do is take their time.’

But the newspaper doesn’t want to stop there. ‘In the near future, we’re planning to lecture our customers about the environment, and we’re going to use charitable causes as a way of offsetting taxes AND promoting ourselves. It’s a double whammy for the marketing department.’

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Posted: May 18th, 2010 by StoopyDeGunt

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