NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for May, 2010

Last episode of New Labour disappoints viewers

Many viewers had found that the series had lost its way after the declaration of war that was broadly seen as an attempt to revive interest following flagging ratings, and the subsequent departure of the once popular lead character Tony.

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Posted: May 26th, 2010
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‘First past the post’ to be abolished for London Olympics

‘We’ve learned from the recent election’ declared Lord Coe. ‘The ballot lasted 15 hours but discussions about who would form the next government continued for several days. This would let us cut costs by reducing the number of events but keeping TV coverage going for days.’

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Posted: May 25th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Man dies from stroke after wife fails to remember FAST acronym

His wife Jane said ‘when he collapsed I thought it might have been a stroke and thought of calling an ambulance, but then I remembered the ad. I was pretty sure it was a four letter word, maybe starting with F, but that was all I could remember. It had me stumped for ages.’

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Posted: May 25th, 2010
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Synthetic life form accuses God of ‘playing science’

spirituality now yours for just £49.99‘I am beginning to think that this omnipotence thing has gone to His head.’

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Posted: May 25th, 2010
More from Faith, Science/Technology



Stupid drivers forced to display white flags with red cross

lots and lots of really bad drivers out thereUnder new proposals to improve road safety during the summer season when traffic levels on Britain’s roads peak, the government has rolled out plans under which the stupidest drivers in England will have to identify themselves by displaying distinctive red and white flags on each side of the car. In extreme cases, more than two flags will need to be carried.

‘This is not discrimination, it is common sense,’ said new Transport Minister Norman Baker MP. ‘Some aggressive young men with brains the size of sweetcorn are a menace on the roads. With this requirement in place, at least other drivers and pedestrians will be able to see them coming.’

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Posted: May 24th, 2010
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