International aid agencies have been put on high alert following claims that striking BA cabin crew are being starved back to work. ‘It was shocking to see senior staff with over twenty years loyal service being forced to eat World Traveller beef-or-chicken,’ said one striker, who cannot be named for fear of being given a wedgie by thuggish BA managers. Meanwhile, another picket line had to close early yesterday after the First Class canapés ran out.
‘The drink situation is almost as bad,’ said another unnamed striker, ‘some of us are down to our last bottle of Pimm’s, the litre bottles of duty-free are all empty and there are only a handful of whisky miniatures left.’
The response of the major aid agencies is still awaited, but in a recorded message to strikers Sir Bob Geldof said: ‘The world feels your pain. I will never forget the heart-rending images of mothers and children with bloated stomachs fighting over the last few spoonfuls of tiramisu and smiling bravely as they headed back to the bouncy castle. I only wish I could have been there, but my effin’ flight was cancelled.’