This year’s ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ was the last series in its current format following an EU ruling forcing talent contests to be opened up to all European Union citizens. In turn British citizens will be entitled to participate in other European versions of the show, such as the long running ‘Luxembourg’s Got Talent’ which is yet to find a winner after twenty years.
Star judge Simon Cowell welcomed the decision as a potent symbol of cultural integration encouraging greater understanding between nations, noting ‘There’s a bloke in Normandy who can cut his toenails in time to the Marseillaise being farted by his elderly mother. Now, that’s the sort of talent we’re looking for.’
However UK contestants are opposed to the ruling as a threat to their heritage, and their prospects of fulfilling ‘every Brit’s dream’ of appearing on the same panto bill as Keith Harris and Orville. Public resistance visibly weakened, though, when it was suggested that the show’s wider exposure on a European stage could finally see Piers Morgan prosecuted as a crime against humanity.