Government admits CCTV cameras ‘have not made British public any better looking’

A Home Office review published today has found that installing CCTV cameras everywhere in the UK has singularly failed to prompt the general population to make a bit of an effort with their appearance whenever they’re out and about in public.

Home Secretary Theresa May had initially supported the previous government’s efforts to shame the public into ‘at least slinging on a pair of kitten heels when popping out to the Post Office’ through the use of persistent video surveillance, but acknowledged that despite the difficult sacrifice of many hard-won civil liberties, ‘the nation is still as fugly now as it was in 1997.’ The incoming government has instead pledged to slash the number of cameras in Britain, and dumped a Lib Dem manifesto pledge to switch CCTV to HD, the terrifying results of which, ‘would have put the special effects horrors of Doctor Who to shame.’

The proposed cuts will save £1.2bn next year, money which will be spent on encouraging Trinny and Susannah to make a new series of What Not to Wear, and a plan for Gok Wan to be nationalised.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2010 by

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