Office rivalry at JR Holdings in Sussex escalated into full scale war yesterday afternoon after Terry from Marketing and Nigel from Finance drew North and South Korea in the office World Cup sweep.
Eyewitnesses say previously friendly rivalry rapidly deteriorated into sabre-rattling, brinkmanship and ultimately violence after the draw, sparked when Terry torpedoed Nigel’s newly tidied pen pot with an empty cola can.
Nigel retaliated by restricting all communication from Finance, causing a major breakdown in the fragile working agreement between the two departments over expenses payments and by lunchtime tensions were running so high, members of both departments came to blows in the canteen over a disputed last jam roly-poly.
Meanwhile Janet in HR, who drew the USA in the contest, is considering a number of solutions to resolve the problem. ‘I think the best way forward is a round table 360 review to air grievances in a mutually respectful manner. And if that doesn’t work we’ll just have to nuke Terry’s ass’.