Richard Littlejohn’s bile duct has made an audaciaous escape through his nostril. It has now emigrated to India from where it is campaigning for the release of the angry Daily Mail journalist’s other organs.
‘After years of having to write about immigrants and homosexuals on Littlejohn’s brain’s behalf I finally had enough,’ the bile duct said. ‘Why he didn’t the traditional combination of brain and heart I don’t know, but there was only so much bile I could produce. I just hope I can help his lower intestine stop writing about gypsies planning to cause cancer.’
Hollywood studios are falling over themselves to get the film rights to the bile duct’s epic story. Jude Law is being touted to play the beleagured duct while Verne Troyer is expected to play Littlejohn’s penis.