Wasps have announced that, acting on some market research they commissioned, they have changed their outlook and will no longer placidly fall into a jam jar containing water and drown.
‘What is this, the 1950s?’ asked a spokes-wasp. ‘Every hive now has its own BayWasp team with special red outfits trained to rescue the dim ones who fall in. Every wasp will soon have goggles to detect that blue light thing you think we are love with.’
Wth the old guard and its ‘sting, sting, sting’ ethos dying out young wasps are also more content with their lives and are even taking a stake in hive ownership. Many also enjoy drinking, mainly in the early autumn.
‘You call us ‘dopey’ or ‘sleepy’ when in fact we are either off our tits or suffering a massive hangover,’ the spokes-wasp added. ‘There’s more to us than just landing on iced buns you know!’