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The ‘iTop’ is killer application for Chinese iPad assembly line workers

Think different. Get arrested.They could be checking their tech stocks, downloading the latest world cup stats or just scanning the Guardian Online for coverage of their grim working conditions, but there’s no doubt that Chinese workers are going literally crazy for the new iPad.

Many are spending 16 hours a day on Apple’s latest empowering gadget. The iPad assembly line is the latest cool hang out for the Chinese tech warriors. A fully stamped punch card is the new ‘must have’ accessory for these new digitally empowered benefactors of Apple’s new democratising technology revolution.

The dexterity of these nimble fingered component executives has astounded and delighted the bean counters at the worlds biggest coolest technology company. But the most popular app among the Chinese assemblers is the ‘iTop’, a routine in which the tired worker performs a passing out ceremony, to make way for a keener, hotter young buck to take his place on the factory floor.

On the assembly line the iTop is the killer iPad application. Described as the ‘to die for’ app for the far-seeing Chinese iPad assembly creative, the iTop suggests a way that the factory worker can bring his life to a climax and hopefully pass on to a better place. ‘Plus it uses your location to tell your family of the nearest and cheapest funeral parlour and how much his internal organs might fetch on the medical black market. They really have thought of everything!’

‘The vendors of the iPad aren’t selling a gadget. They’re selling an aspiration,’ said a spokesman for Apple. ‘And many of the component assembly executives dream of topping themselves. ‘They’re bringing the suicidalisation process into the 21st century. ‘

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2010 by StoopyDeGunt

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