Joke tellers across Britain are in crisis today as Patrick ‘Paddy’ O’Shaughnessy, the protagonist in thousands of inept Irishman jokes and one-third of comedy trio ‘an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman’, sensationally announced that he is quitting the jokes business.
Speaking to the joke writer’s periodical Knock Knock, O’Shaughnessy told of his discomfort about being the butt of the Irishman genre. ‘I’m getting tired of being an archetypal blundering imbecile,’ he revealed. ‘People would ask me if I knew the one about the Irishman who went to the Chiropodist – yes, I was there; I’m not proud of what I did and thank you very much for rekindling some painful and embarrassing memories.’
O’Shaughnessy’s former colleagues, ‘Englishman’ Miles Farquhar and ‘Scotsman’ Jimmy Macdonald, have expressed regret at their friend’s decision but have pledged to carry on without him. ‘Paddy will be a hard act to follow,’ admitted Farquhar, ‘but we have a new member of the team in the form of Dai Llewellyn and are confident that we can continue making derogatory material – albeit with a greater emphasis on sheep and singing.’
O’Shaughnessy now intends to study law at Cambridge University, but hasn’t turned his back on the traditional Irishman joke completely: ‘did you hear the one about the Irishman who sued Jim Davidson for defamation of character? He settled for a written apology and a five-figure out-of-court settlement. You might not find that particularly funny but I think its feckin’ hilarious.’