Health experts in California warned today that breathing can have a harmful effect on health, far outweighing the positive benefits of providing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide.
Posted: Jun 29th, 2010
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Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has announced that the defeated England football team are to enter into coalition with Germany. Under the arrangement three England players will now join the German side although they will only be allowed to sit on the bench.
‘The Anglo-German coalition represents a new kind of progressive football,’ said Mr Clegg, ‘it gives England a once in a lifetime opportunity to go through to the final stages of the World Cup. In return, all the Germans ask for is our undivided loyalty.’
Posted: Jun 28th, 2010
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Following extensive negotiations, TV presenter Christine Bleakley has dumped England striker Frank Lampard to become the girlfriend of Germany’s Thomas Mueller.
Posted: Jun 28th, 2010
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In the largest experiment of its kind for four years, the power of St George or his flag to have the slightest influence on worldly events, let alone bring about a miracle, has been proven beyond doubt not to exist.
Posted: Jun 28th, 2010
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The Supreme Being says that he wants to set the record straight once and for all over His infamous appearance in Michelangelo’s picture ‘The Creation of Adam’. The flamboyant, but controversial Deity is said to be unhappy with how the fresco, one of the world’s most recognisable works of art, depicts Him.
‘For a start,’ says The Almighty, ‘I’m shown as an elderly bearded man wrapped in a swirling cloak. Whereas anyone who knows me, knows I’m an attractive young blonde woman in her mid-twenties, like Scarlett Johansson but less retarded looking. ‘I don’t want to appear vain or anything, but for some reason the old codger image has sort of stuck and now everyone thinks I look like an ageing Vangelis.’
Posted: Jun 27th, 2010
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