Internet security crisis as civil servant leaves Sir Tim Berners-Lee on train

‘This represents a major security breach,’ said Home Secretary Theresa May, ‘As the inventor of the World Wide Web, Sir Tim knows everything, holds all the passwords, and is the only person able to turn the Internet on and off.’

Sir Tim, who was helping to design a new government data site, was left on the 14:00 from London Waterloo to Portsmouth Harbour. ‘I got off at Hazlemere,’ said Colin Bevins, a shamefaced civil servant, ‘I only realised that I had left Sir Tim on board as the train was pulling out of the station. I chased down the platform but by then it was too late. All I could see was Sir Tim’s confused face looking out of the window as he disappeared into the distance.’

There are real fears that the loss of Sir Tim may mean the eventual closure of the Internet. ‘The whole thing relies on him,’ said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, ‘I have no idea how it works. I did ask him to write down some instructions but he never got round to it.’ Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple, concurred, ‘Without Sir Tim we may have to pull the plug on the whole enterprise. It seems a shame after all that effort but I suppose we will always have books,’ before adding, ‘we do still have books don’t we?’

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2010 by

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