General David Petraeus, newly-appointed Commander of US Forces in Afghanistan, collapsed at a press conference today and was pinned for several long minutes under the weight of his own military decorations. The General had been talking to reporters about the ‘heavy burden of responsibility’ that came with putting on military uniform, and how it felt as if the hand of history were pressing on his shoulder.
He was finally freed and helped to his feet after rescuers painstakingly removed his medals, badges, stars, stripes, insignia, ribbons, epaulettes, gold braid and flashing Christmas tree lights. Although the general suffered minor injuries during the incident, he was at least able to treat himself as, together with badges for stamp collecting and 25-yards swimming, he also had one for first aid.
Scroat (hat-tip to antharrison)