Channel 4 has announced that Jamie Oliver’s next project will see him educating the public in performing basic neurosurgery in your own home.
‘Now, this is a great operation if one of yer mates has keeled over with an ‘emmorage,’ Jamie tells viewers from his kitchen. ‘First grab yourself a carver and whip off the top of his bonce. Then ‘ave a look into his napper, find where it’s leaking and patch it up with some old butcher’s string. Finally whack the top back-on, leave him to cool for 20 minutes and hey presto, your old mucker’s back to normal. His missus will be dead chuffed wiv yer.’
‘He just makes it look so easy,’ said one impressed viewer. ‘And as he said, if it goes tits-up, all you’ve got to do is wrap your mate in foil, chuck him on the barbie for an hour and serve with chunky chips and a hand-torn rosemary garnish.’
antharrison (hat-tips to QorbeQ and Golgo13)