Billy Thompkins of Dagenham has had his British National Party membership revoked after a weekend’s sunbathing gave him a look that party officials have described as ‘swarthy’ and ‘un-British’. BNP regulations state that members should aim to adopt a pasty look at all times, though an embarrassing scarlet colour is permitted during the summer months.
‘How could they do this to me,’ complained Mr Thompkins. ‘I was always one of the first to shout abuse when new immigrants arrived on the estate, and my ringtone is God Save the Queen. It’s not my fault that I go brown in the sun. I can’t believe they’re persecuting me because of the colour of my skin.’
It’s understood that the BNP has offered Mr Thompkins’ membership to his less sun-loving neighbour, an albino Arab.