Government plans for the ‘Big Society’ are to be spurred by efforts to bring the country together through grief with the unifying death of a major public figure.
‘A good old fashioned state funeral could help lift everyone’s spirits,’ claimed Culture minister Ed Vaizey speaking at a press conference by the Princess Diana memorial fountain ‘but whose could it be? The Queen seems dead-set on hanging around to make sure Charles doesn’t turn Balmoral into an organic hemp farm. Lady Thatcher would probably bring out a good crowd, but perhaps not for the right reasons, so we’re taking the whole plan to the private sector with a big ITV Saturday night search extravaganza’.
The news was widely welcomed by the public when it was reported that high-profile figures including Simon Cowell, Ant and Dec, and Lord Lloyd Webber have all been linked to the show. However interest waned when it became clear this was to be as hosts, rather than participants.