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Police clear-up rates boosted by focus on disorganised crime

Following recent failures in a crackdown targeting the perpetrators of organised crime, UK police forces announced a new strategy on the war in crime, ‘focusing on the really dumb disorganised ones’.

‘The disorganised criminal is really no challenge at all,’ said DC Paul Wiseman, ‘we’re seeing great success in targeting villains who repeatedly rob back-street shops, accompanied by shouts of ‘I thought you had the balaclavas’, those who lock the car keys in their getaway vehicle, and the strung-out junkies who believe we’ll never think to look for them in the front room of their mum’s flat.’

However, some detectives are outraged at the decision to switch their efforts onto the less organised criminal: ‘We’re used to dangerous mastermind crime lords making veiled threats in luxurious surroundings,’ said one undercover operative, ‘but now they’re going to send us to nick idiots in shitty semi-detached houses and crappy council maisonettes, which also isn’t exactly offering a rich seam of overtime opportunities. This simply isn’t what modern police work should be about.’

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2010 by Guest

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