BNP leader Nick Griffin has hit out at lax border controls which are letting 20,000 foreign birds enter the UK every week. ‘It starts with a family of thrushes taking fruit picking work’ frothed Griffin, ‘then before you know it, there are winged immigrants everywhere, demanding mixed nuts and stale crusts handouts.’
Some communities have already seen a backlash to the migration, and a number of ‘indigenous’ birds have complained that social nesting boxes are swamped with an influx of refugee cuckoos, who are apparently expecting the state to look after their offspring. ‘They’re just a drain on scarce RSPB resources. Now, some of my best friends are blackbirds, but I just can’t stand them ill eagles you keep hearing about in the papers,’ claimed one tattooed starling.
Deputy PM Nick Clegg said the coalition government is already addressing the issue, ‘We hope to cut numbers by combating the flocking mentality that’s causing such a problem for this country. It’s shameful when the one at the front makes a decision and the rest of a group just mindlessly following behind for the ride’.