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Children ‘to do their bit for recovery’ as tooth fairy money taxed

Business secretary Vince Cable announced that from September money paid to children by the tooth fairy will be means-tested and subject to tax.

Cable defended the scheme as a ‘simple and fair’ way to raise much-needed funds from those best placed to pay it. ‘Some of these children are getting upwards of £5 per tooth,’ explained the minister, ‘A fiver! I always said if you think we’re out of this recession you must be living in Fairyland.’

New procedures will entail all baby teeth being sent to a central tooth collection centre, where a new DNA record will be created for each child. Upon a successful DNA/tooth match, £3.50 will be added to the parental tax liability and a £1 ‘tooth bond’ will be sent to the child in due course. The unspent £2.50 difference will be split between a 50p injection to the budget deficit fund and a £2 administration cost to ensure all fairies have full clearance from the CRB.

DroleNoel

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2010 by Guest

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