Police are appealing to David Hasselhoff to hand himself in following a disturbance near Hadrian’s Wall yesterday, in which Mr Hasselhoff was alleged to have damaged a small section of the 2000-year-old Roman monument.
Eye-witnesses report that Hasselhoff arrived at the historical site with sound equipment and a portable generator, which he proceeded to set up next to the wall, before announcing to the growing crowd of curious onlookers that he was going to ‘unite this divided community’.
‘He looked a bit unsteady on his feet’ said local tour guide Nick Kemp, ‘but he kept muttering that he heard that the area needed healing and we needed to ‘tear down this fucking wall’. Then he started singing ‘Looking for Freedom’. It went on for ages.’
Eye-witnesses allege that Hasselhoff then took a pick-axe to a small section of the wall, dislodging several stones, before fleeing when police arrived.
Mr Hasselhoff’s whereabouts are still unknown, although there have been reports that was last spotted boarding a plane for China.