NewsBiscuit

‘Everybody knows that drivers slow down to look at car crashes,’ said Transport Secretary Philip Hammond, ‘which is why we plan to replace every speed camera in Britain with an authentic reconstruction of a road traffic accident.’

Under the scheme the Department for Transport will commission out of work actors to perform full-scale productions of gruesome and bloody car crashes along all of Britain’s most dangerous roads.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2010
More from UK News

A mere 7 months into the current decade, Channel 4 bosses have warned that we are ‘only months away’ from the first nostalgic list shows looking at the period that ended barely half a year ago hitting our screens.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2010
More from News In Brief

The hosts of themed fancy dress parties could be unwittingly discriminating against less creative and imaginative people, a recent study has concluded.

‘The pressure to concoct a realistic costume that is also witty and clever in its interpretation is immense’ stated the report.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2010
More from News In Brief

Former UN Weapons Inspector Dr Hans Blix says that following a visit to the UK he has found ‘no evidence’ that Britain is harbouring an inquiry into the Iraq War.

‘I have searched the length and breadth of the country,’ said Dr Blix ‘and I cannot find anything resembling an inquiry. I did stumble across a committee room with a few retired civil servants and historians sitting behind a desk, but nothing that might pose a serious threat to the British state.’

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2010
More from Politics

Harry Vole, wearing a t-shirt reading ‘Sin? Me? Never!’ has apparently been turning up to public stonings , waiting until Mr Christ starts his ‘let him who is without sin..’ bit, and then flipping a flat stone pebble at the accused before sauntering off whistling.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2010
More from News In Brief