NewsBiscuit

Following successful trials at the Sandringham Flower Show earlier this month, it has been announced that the Queen is to have her waving arm connected to a generator to produce green energy whilst the monarch is carrying out official engagements.

Once the technology is fully installed it is hoped Her Majesty’s oscillating limb will provide sufficient kinetic power to run not only her Rolls Royce’s satellite navigation system but also the car’s DVD player so Prince Philip can enjoy his Lady Gaga collection without feeling guilty about the planet.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2010
More from Celebrity

Government plans for the ‘Big Society’ are to be spurred by efforts to bring the country together through grief with the unifying death of a major public figure.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2010
More from News In Brief

Following recent failures in a crackdown targeting the perpetrators of organised crime, UK police forces announced a new strategy on the war in crime, ‘focusing on the really dumb disorganised ones’.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2010
More from News In Brief

Police confirmed today that eight men have been arrested in connection with a bogus male stripper ring that operated across Britain and targeted women attending hen nights, birthday parties and office leaving dos. The arrests were made after a raid on a house in Esher, during which costumes and computer records were seized, the culmination of a six-month investigation dubbed ‘Operation Baby-Oil’.

Gang members would approach large groups of women at night-clubs and restaurants, then proceed to expose their genitals after a striptease-style removal of their other clothes. Only later would the women realise that nobody had in fact arranged a stripper, by which time the perpetrators had made good their escape.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2010
More from UK News

9-11 conspiracy theorists are jubilant after last week’s unearthing of the hull of an 18th century ship at Ground Zero.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2010
More from News In Brief