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Jeremy Kyle halts performance of ‘Mamma Mia’ to settle paternity dispute with DNA test

Rosie and Tanya escorted from the stage by bouncersThere was pandemonium at London’s Prince of Wales theatre last night as talk-show host Jeremy Kyle invaded the stage during a performance of hit musical ‘Mamma Mia’ in a bid to determine which of three men who had slept with a singer in the late 1970s was the father of 22-year-old Sophie.

‘Let me get this straight,’ Kyle said to Sophie’s mother, Donna, as the audience looked on in disbelief. ‘You claim that you spread it about so much you don’t even know who your daughter’s father is? Yet you keep their details in a diary she conveniently found shortly before her wedding? I just don’t buy it. I think you owe Sophie the truth after all these years.’

The action then cut to a backstage booth where a tearful Sophie explained that she had contacted the producers of the Jeremy Kyle Show in order to confront her mother before her impending wedding to her sweetheart, Sky. ‘I just want to know who my dad is,’ sobbed Sophie, as audience members found themselves booing her mother and spontaneously shouting ‘Slag!’

Kyle then brought out the three men who identified themselves as Sam, Harry and Bill, all claiming to be unaware of Sophie’s existence until the wedding invitations arrived a month ago. ‘And I suppose none of you, with no idea you had a daughter, helped set up this single, non-working mum with her own hotel on an idyllic Greek island?’ asked Kyle. ‘Oh please!  I’ve had some sordid stuff on my show, but this really takes the biscuit. A beautiful young girl is about to get married – the time for lies is over. Bring on the lie detector!”

The production then rapidly deteriorated into name calling and fist throwing as Kyle manfully continued to berate the cast, the curtain finally coming down to a standing ovation from the full house as Kyle promised to read the DNA test results after a short break.

His crew then moved on to the Lord Chamberlain’s Players production of ‘Hamlet’ at Shakespeare’s Globe to record another show entitled ‘Mum, You’re Shagging My Uncle Who Murdered My Dad, But I Still Quite Fancy You’.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2010 by Oxbridge

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