The relaunch of Charmin toilet paper as Cushelle may have been part of an elaborate revenge plot against Cushelle Stevens, the ex-girlfriend of marketing executive Phil Freeman. The couple split up last year after Stevens confessed to an affair with a work colleague, and now it has emerged that Freeman may have engineered the £10 million rebranding just to pay her back.
‘Phil was really hurt by her betrayal,’ said friend Mark. ‘£10 million is a lot of money, but he feels it’ll be worth it if her name is forever associated with wiping arses.’
Cushelle Stevens, a brand manager at a pharmaceuticals company, is said to be considering her response, but is hopeful of success with her next product, the ‘Phil Freeman Erectile Dysfunction Ointment’.
William Dilkes (hat-tip to Golgo13)