Rebranding of Charmin toilet paper was ‘revenge on ex-girlfriend Cushelle’

Soft and kind, unlike that bitch Cushelle

The relaunch of Charmin toilet paper as Cushelle may have been part of an elaborate revenge plot against Cushelle Stevens, the ex-girlfriend of marketing executive Phil Freeman. The couple split up last year after Stevens confessed to an affair with a work colleague, and now it has emerged that Freeman may have engineered the £10 million rebranding just to pay her back.

‘Phil was really hurt by her betrayal,’ said friend Mark. ‘£10 million is a lot of money, but he feels it’ll be worth it if her name is forever associated with wiping arses.’

Cushelle Stevens, a brand manager at a pharmaceuticals company, is said to be considering her response, but is hopeful of success with her next product, the ‘Phil Freeman Erectile Dysfunction Ointment’.

William Dilkes (hat-tip to Golgo13)

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2010 by

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