The reconciliation service Acas faced a crisis last night after staff walked out over the firing of a secretary for ‘not performing duties required for the role’, understood to include whipping her manager with a riding crop while dressed as Mary Poppins and single ‘Candle in the Wind’. This left managers unsure who they could ask to arbitrate.
Acas is best known for mediating in the miners’ strike in the 1980s, with BA cabin crews and in the ongoing bickering between the Gallagher brothers. A spokesman appealed for volunteers to intervene after an initial approach to Tony Blair failed because of his exorbitant fees.
However, this morning saw a glimmer of hope. ‘Supernanny’ Jo Frost has reportedly offered to ‘sit them all down on the naughty step until they learn to behave’.