Groups representing hysterical people and tabloid newspapers have called on the Government to raise the standard of knee-jerk legislation by making it harder to introduce.
‘Although ill-conceived, illiberal legislation is essential to protecting everybody against everything, we recognise that these are difficult economic times,’ said a spokesman. ‘So we are now suggesting that new laws should only be introduced if they save a minimum of 250 people from going through what somebody else went through, rather than just the one as now.’
Under Labour, hysterical victims’ and hype-happy tabloid journalists’ groups successfully pushed for the introduction of the Dropping of Hats (Prevention of Brim Related Injuries) Act 2003, the 2007 Wobbly Ladders Order (amended), and the Non-Plastic Cutlery Advisory Notice 2004. The new proposals would probably spell the end for the Risk of Divebombing Penguins (Public Protection) Bill, although the James Blunt (Future Singles or Albums) Ban is still highly likely to be on the statute books by Christmas.