The General Synod of the Church of England has called on the Government to amend centuries-old restrictions on the movement of bishops, so that they can move horizontally and vertically as well as diagonally.
‘Tradition is all very well,’ complained the Right Reverend James Langstaff, the Bishop of Rochester, ‘but how can I preach the word of God in an increasingly secular world when I have to wear a big red frock all day and can only bounce around at odd angles? I look a right pillock, me.’
The relevance of the Church in modern society is increasingly under question. Many feel that the bishops lack the flexibility to take on the challenges of 21st century life, though others point to Archbishop Desmond Tutu as an example of what a black bishop can achieve single-handedly.