‘Whitehall Chainsaw Massacre’ lacks sufficient fake blood, say horror fans

As Cameron and Clegg appear nationwide in the new horror blockbuster ‘The Whitehall Chainsaw Massacre’, fans of slasher movies have criticised the coalition for the noticeable lack of red liquid splashing up the walls of government departments.

‘It’s a pretty good horror franchise in general,’ said one fan. ‘You’ve got the initially friendly killers dropping their masks to reveal their true agenda, and the suspense of wondering which part of the public sector is going to get it in the neck next. All we ask is that when the postal service dies, there is the cathartic release of a spectacular blood fountain.’

A government spokesman promised plenty more carnage, but apologised in advance for the special effects after the budget for fake blood had to be savagely cut.

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