Just a year after the expenses scandal, it has emerged that many MPs are regularly failing to attend Parliament and are concealing their absence by positioning inflatable lookalike dummies in their seats.
‘This only came to light last week,’ said speaker John Bercow . ‘Someone sat down next to Graham Allen MP and accidentally stabbed him in the leg with a biro. Instead of crying out in pain, the Nottingham North MP made a loud bang and flew off all round the Commons. All that was left of him was a shrivelled up piece of rubber.’
The ‘inflatagate’ scandal has now been referred to the Commons watchdog, but Bercow is not confident they will do much. ‘When I presented them with the evidence, they didn’t even say anything. They just smiled at me with fixed grins and bobbed up and down in their chairs.’