Owner’s leg playing hard-to-get again

Prince, a virile three-year-old beagle, reported today that despite his best efforts, all romantic advances made to his owner’s right leg were continuing to receive the cold shoulder.

‘I’m just not getting anywhere with that bitch,’ he sighed. ‘If I start in with the small talk, I get nothing back, but if I skip the foreplay and get straight down to it – well, she might as well not be there. I just don’t think I’m doing it for her, you know? Either I’m barking up the wrong tree or she’s frigid as hell.’

Later the same day Prince told next door’s retriever that he was now ‘completely over’ his owner’s leg after finding a sultry-looking fence post who pays out every time.

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