Hundreds of thousands of bankers rallied together today to protest against the protesters who were protesting against them. Across France, Germany, Italy, Britain, Greece and other countries savaged by the dire economic situation, bankers in their droves arrived for work and promptly staged a sit-in. ‘We sat in our offices and refused to lend anyone any money,’ said Costas Georgiou of the Hellenic National Bank of Greece.
While hoards of indignant businessmen had their noses pressed against the ground floor windows of banks across Europe by the force of the crowds behind them, the bankers were insistent that they wouldn’t give up their struggle. Politicians arrived by the back entrance to give their support and the stress inside the buildings often resulted in the finest whisky being produced, which had to be nipped slowly and leisurely whilst waiting for the Dover sole to arrive, or perhaps a spot of Foie Gras.
‘The lending will only start again when we get bored of counting the money that’s coming in, start shagging our secretaries and find out we need to fund yet another divorce,’ said Mr Georgiou.