Football widows demand better pensions

A demonstration of wives and girlfriends left widowed by the ‘beautiful game’ has marched through London today, insisting that they should be better cared for by the British government.

‘These women represent the unseen consequences of husbands spending season after season supporting one of the principal premier league football teams, or Liverpool,’ said a campaigner today. ‘It is only right that football widows receive their husbands’ full salaries, state-subsidised Haagen-Dazs and Sex & the City reruns on Channel 4 while their husbands are engaged in active service on the three-piece.’

The issue has been highlighted by the plight of Mrs Maureen Bagnall who has already lost her husband and two of her sons to West Ham’s latest campaign. ‘No mother should have to see her son carried home on a Saturday evening draped in a Hammers shirt,’ she said. ‘I demand an immediate withdrawal of our boys from the Dog and Duck in Dagenham.’

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2010 by

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