Councils up and down the country have decided to attach warning notices to all Sycamore trees bringing their dangerous autumn seed distributing activities to the public’s attention.
One concerned council spokesman highlighted the issue: ‘The fact that these seeds have been falling for centuries without anyone ever being hurt is more down to luck than judgement. Our experts have told us there is a ten million to one chance that a stray seed could take out an eye and that is too great a chance to take.’
‘We’d prefer to impose a 500 metre exclusion zone around each of these vicious freaks of nature but obviously that’s impractical. Instead all Sycamore trees will be taped off with a notice stating: ‘CAUTION: Falling Life Threatening Sycamore Seeds. Hard hats and goggles mandatory’. You can’t be too careful, an you?’