Police launch grannies decoy plan to cut crime

Police disguised as grannies will soon be walking Britain’s streets in a radical move to cut crime, Home Secretary Theresa May announced today.

PC Jim Wakes (6 feet 9 inches), and one of the first decoy grannies to hit the streets, recalled the first time he apprehended a mugger. ‘The look on his face when I straightened up and smacked him round the head with my handbag and knitting-needled him, was a sight to behold,’ he said, adjusting his headscarf, padded bra and moustache.

But experienced mugger ‘Mad’ Mick Miller (17) said that he had no worries about decoy grannies. ‘I was going for this granny as she was coming out of the post office with her pension, when she straightened up and turned into the Old Bill. I was off with the pension, a two-way radio and a police whistle. The Old Bill had no chance of catching me what with him wearing carpet slippers.’

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2010 by

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