‘Mad’ Mick Moran, a gangland killer who ‘found’ L Ron Hubbard and believed he’d seen the light, has had his hopes of an early release from prison dashed.
‘While Mr Moran has made a start,’ the parole board’s spokeswoman said, ‘we do not accept that discovering Mr Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, demonstrates sufficiently a prisoner’s conversion to a better way of life. Jesus Christ is the killer conversion, so to speak, while Mr Hubbard is just a little bit dodgy.’
‘Mick was quite sure the parole board would be impressed,’ a prison spokesman said. ‘At first he flirted with the Buddha before he found Scientology. He is bitterly disappointed and unfortunately he’s now in solitary.’
‘Mick says that if, with the help of Jesus Christ, he ever gets out of here, he’ll be paying the Church of Scientology a surprise visit.’