Experts admitted last night they were ‘still years away’ from discovering a colour for the famously monotone weekday.
‘We have Blue Monday, Ruby Tuesday, Orange Wednesdays and Black Friday, but the true colour of Thursday still eludes us – it’s such a drab, maundy sort of day,’ explained Professor Chris Boddy, Director of the Centre for Colour Studies in Kent.
He revealed that a group of theoretical physicists at CERN used unscheduled sessions with the Large Hadron Collider to smash tiny particles of Thursday into 5-litre pots of Dulux. ‘We had a promising moment early on in the research, when a few molecules of Apricot Sunrise seemed to be adhering to Thursday’s underside. But when we checked, all we’d got was ‘White with a hint of Higgs Boson’ – useless, quite useless…’ he confessed sadly.