Following the landmark decision to give prisoners the vote, representatives of the prison community are now demanding their own members of parliament.
Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris (no relation) says that as elected ‘Daddy’ of B Wing at Wormwood Scrubs he would be an ideal candidate to represent his constituents’ interests. He had been hoping to form a joint constituency with Holloway Prison but they refused to drop their policy of all-women shortlists.
Mr Harris promises a new approach to politics. ‘Not so much a third way as an unlocked side window,’ he says. With our commitment to redistribute the wealth of the rich you can see similarities with Labour, but we’re equally happy to rob the poor like the Conservatives.’
Harris also wishes to get involved with voting reform. ‘I mean, a situation where a minority party can form a governing coalition with a bigger party none of its supporters voted for: that’s criminal.’