It is believed the Government will formally announce later this week that Turkeys are to be given the right to vote for Christmas. The news follows a European Court of Rights ruling that, as they have two feet, poultry counts as being ‘nearly human’ and the Human Rights rulings should apply to them equally.
Sources close to the Government have suggested that David Cameron has scratched around looking for an alternative but has reluctantly decided that he had to follow the court’s findings rather than having to go up before the European beak.
The Prime Minster received a roasting in the House of Commons from MP’s accusing him of running scared of Europe. ‘I can categorically promise that I have checked and as quorn has no legs at all I can guarantee that our Christmas dinner will be just as good as ever,’ he promised to the sound of opposition members making clucking noises and cries of ‘Chicken’.