Gimps up and down the UK have today announced they will hold a ballot on strike action in an attempt to force better working conditions.
‘For too long we have been made to work in degrading, confined and frankly unsanitary conditions. We have had enough,’ complained Colin Mahoney of the Gimp Union UKGU.
‘I got into gimping as a way to meet girls, it seemed fun at the start, but then it changed,’ said Andrew Geoffrey, a Gimp who wished to remain nameless but had his identity revealed as a further humiliation. ‘They started kicking me in the testicles, calling me names and locking me in cages. And nothing prepares you for waking up nipple clamps at 7am.’
Reconciliation talks are currently being held with the Sexual Dominatrix, but have stalled while negotiators seek to find some common ground on the thorny issue of a suitable safe-word.