The Serious Organised Sarcasm Agency, the Metropolitan Police’s crack team of highly trained experts in preventing tongue-in-cheek humour and satire incidents, has admitted its staff are ‘struggling to cope’ with the high level of potential terror threats posted on social networking sites over the last few weeks.
‘It takes years of experience to identify and eliminate sarcastic threats to national security,’ commented Chief Superintendent Richard Simpson, Head of Sarcasm Detection. ‘Most members of the force have no sense of irony whatsoever, so it takes our most expensively-trained officers working around the clock to make the distinctions between somebody having a so-called laugh and somebody who is seriously threatening to bomb Euston Station.’
There has been an unexplained spike in sarcastic tweets this week, particularly after one terrorist threatened to destroy Robin Hood airport in Yorkshire, Simpson said. ‘Unfortunately, it took us a week to realise they weren’t all serious, and this has inevitably meant that we may have missed those with genuinely sinister intentions, such as Irish extremist comedian Dara O’Briain.’
The situation was ‘a real worry’, Simpson admitted. ‘We can only hope against hope that over time the nation loses its sense of humour, or the authorities gain one.’